25 things about me bullshit....

People have been sending me this facebook 25 things about me bullshit and I`ve been deleting it cause I think that I don't have 25 people to know all my close held secrets.... That is defiantly too small of a group, I want all the random rant bloggers to know.... So here it goes, but know this I`m not going to be held in by the 25 quota or limit.. And also know that none of this information is applicable, or what ever the legal term is, in court.
Secret #1
- Fuck you... I just wanted to get that clear
#2
-I am a cooking God.... and I am very shy about it
#3
-I have an extremely good sense of smell which has turned out to be a curse working in mental health.... Every time you think you've smelled the worst thing in the world some reality challenged brethren raises the bar.... This is fucked up but sadly true, I can tell if a girl is riding the cotton pony when she walks through the door or when a guy decided to use sunscreen to polish his early morning wood and not shower. Guilt has a very strong smell... Some smells are so strong that I have to brush my teeth...
#4
- I like Carpenter Songs... Please refer to #1
#5
-I have a list of movies, in writing, that I will never watch. Titanic is on the top of the list, and it seems to be the one that people get up in arms about.. News fucken flash the boat sank a 100 years ago, that's all I need to know...
#6
-I have been married and divorced twice... no surprise... honestly would you live with me??...
#7
-I email and hangout with my Lawyer...once again, no surprise... I think I"m putting her kid through med school..
#8
-I had a dog named Sport... I had him from age 8 till 19 and had to watch him die... I will never have another dog...
#9
-I have watched three people die and they haven't brought any kind of emotion out of me like Sport did... Probably no one ever will...
#10
- I can not be killed by conventional methods...I could expand on this but it would only bore me...
#11
-I believe Jesus is a paedophile, Prove me wrong people, prove me wrong...
#12
-I fear midgets, oh don't let their jolly fun dispositions lull you into a false sense of security. They're united and angry. I know what your thinking you could fight them off by grabbing one of them and using him as a angry object to club the onslaught, but it will be in vain cause they won't stop. They bite and hard, and when your down to their level you're done...This keeps me up most nights.
#13
-I drink... a lot.. that was probably obvious....
#14
-I hate the #14 which is also my birthday...
#15
-I think people with Coca Cola collections are big losers...
#16
-I truly hate Mr. Bean, not Rowan Atkinson but that fucking Mr. Bean. DIE! DIE! DIE! WORMS EATING YOUR EYES OUT!!!!
#17
-There is only one true Satan and that's that Big Ass Purple Dinosaur, BARNIE!!!
#18
-I'm heavily medicated, which is probably for the best...
#19
-I've spent so many days in the emergency ward the nurses know me by name and where a certain private mole is....
#20
-Whispering makes me agitated to the point of mental hospitalization...
#21
-I've been committed through the mental health act on three different occasions....
#22
-I'm not gay, I just really love rainbows and unicorns
#23
-I've wiped a 60 year old mans ass and got paid for it...
#24
-I have 37 first cousins... and I think all the stupid people are breading except the readers of this blog... sure that makes you feel better...
#25
-I'm not going to say who or what but you know I know something really bad about you.....


DONE!!!