It's been a long time.....

Once again I've taken a well earned vacation in one of our public mental health acute care facilities and been released a better and may I say, warmer human being. Though, this time no one tried to rape me, I guess I'm getting older...Dust in the wind and all that....

Well I'm back and with that my email was packed with get well and hang in there sediment. Well maybe not so much... cause really who likes a nut bar whiner.

Anyway, I got another 25 things about you email that my overly drug induced mind had to answer with the condition it was on my blog....


1. What time did you get up this morning?
-thanks to modern medicine I didn't...

2. How do you like your steak?
-still meowing and free...

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
-pass...your really going to get to know me by finding out which Hollywood cookie cutter flick I watched will give you insight into my mind, my soul, my love for chia pets...

4. What is your favorite TV show?
-pass again... there is nothing worth watching since Paula Abdul left American Idol.... I really miss that drugged up whore...

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
-In my house because that is where my stuff is...pretty stupid question....


6. What did you have for breakfast?
-I don't have breakfast it's against my devote devotion to pre-athiestism post-agnosticism....

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
-Since I cook for a living this question should be very deep and meaningful that is why I am not going to answer it because that is just the information they will need to finally commit me... I'm on to you I really am.

8. What foods do you dislike?
-Anything prepared by angry midgets

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
-up against a wall

10. Favorite dressing?
-refer to question 7.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
-is this some attempt to gauge the size of my penis? Because if it is it's damn cold in here...

12. What are your favorite clothes?
-First off favourite is spelled with a u in it... We're in Canada damn it! Oh and it's my pink jumper with the unicorn and rainbows on it... What! a straight guy can like jumpers...

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
-So, you'd like to know my whereabouts eh? Think I would slip up eh? Well if you think I'm going to pay for those jazzerise classes you have another thing coming..

14. How many children do you want?
-Now there is a good question...humm... The sweat shop business is quite competitive, so I'd say around 2000ish... I don't really have time to crunch the numbers...

15. Where would you want to retire?
-There is no retirement for the wicked or unemployed...

16. Favourite time of day?
-Oprah....we only have one more year....the horror....

17. Where were you born?
-in a stable, next to a manager, because there was no room in the inn....

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
-There you go again without the u... Death sport better known as Luge...

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
-hopefully everyone

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
-someone with a death wish...

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
-if I haven't said so fuck you....

22. Bird watcher?
-really...I mean really?? what the fuck? Who do you think you are jack off? You just go straight for the jugular with that one...no, no, no, no ya sick bastard...

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
-I'm a human-being you heartless bastard...with feelings you will never understand...

24. Do you have any pets?
-Yes..okay... yes, a fish called Lance Armstrong okay... read your way into that I dare you...

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
-the answer was cheese doodle....you know?

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
-dead... thanks for the flash back....you son-of-a-bitch!

27. What is the one thing you regret most since high school?
-yes there is... I could have had a V8....and vodka

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
-I'm not much for ethnic food, but if I have to answer (and I don't) I'd say cats... no wait... I forgot what I was going to say...

29. Are you married?
-maybe if I had any memory of the last six months...

30. Always wear your seat belt?
-They usually keep me pretty well strapped to the gurney...

And that's that now maybe I can get back to ranting...

I know I'm crazy live with it...

It's probably pretty obvious that I have mental health problems, and I use the plural because it would be wrong to place all my idiosyncrasies under one label. Here's my thing, why are people so freaked out when you tell them that you have mental illness. Sure it might be freaky if I told them everything, I'm an obsessive compulsive perfectionist with debilitating anxiety that also manifests it self in chronic depression that can go psychotic, and oh ya I'm also dyslexic too.(Do you think I can really can call my self dyslexic and be able to spell lysdexia?..We'll let the courts decide that.) Needless to say I'm highly medicated and happy about it. I'm betting that saying all of that didn't help to ease peoples piece of mind about me. Anyways, here's my beef about people's perception of mentally ill people, psychotic doesn't mean violent or dangerous it means reality challenged, okay. (Once again I'm going to bitch at the media, with all it's over sensationalizing of sociopaths.) Serial killers are always on the news, and in every second movie, even though there really isn't that many of them and they don't do most of the homicides. In fact they are the smallest of percentage of murders. (I'd give you a statistic, but who really gives a rats ass at the end of the day.) {Oh ya, did I say that I really like brackets, braces and parentheses} Ya, so here comes Hollywood with another cookie cutter, brain dead movie about how a paranoid schizophrenic has made a plan to terrorize the public with an elaborate overly complicated ironically detailed "plan"... Really?? Okay, have you ever tried to make a "paranoid schizophrenic" make their bed or take a shower??? It's an all day endeavour. If people really knew the reality of mentally ill people they would know that most of them are scared to leave their houses and have a pretty hard time planning how to get dressed in the morning.... Okay, I'm going off in one of my notorious tangents, but I have to say this while it's still in my medicated brain. I hate, and I mean I really hate, when people use the excuse of having a mental break down to do things like: rape their kids; or murder their spouse..Oh that pisses me off, when, really, a person who has a mental break down usually is found in a ball whimpering in a corner or curled up in their bed licking their elderly pet cat while covered in tinfoil. People who rape and murder may not be right in the head, but they have planned their crimes and do not want to be caught. Should the be called mentally ill? I say no. They should be called what they are, murders and rapists and treated that way. Calling them mentally ill is like calling a gun a dangerous preschool toy. Mental illness should have the same respect as diabetes( which if untreated shows symptoms of psychosis and intoxication) or epilepsy( which comes on without warning and freaks people out who don't understand the disease). Honestly where I am I going with this? I reality is I don't know, but that is one of the bonuses of being labelled mentally ill, you don't have to explain all your rants. So please don't judge someone because they are "mentally ill" judge them if they are an asshole. Some of the most famous people of all time were mentally ill, take for example Joan of Arch (She decided at the age of 14 she should lead the French army to defeat the English, ya that sounds like a "loving" god would want), etc. etc.

Have you ever wonder why Old JC hasn't come back to judge the living and the dead? Probably because if he told people that he was sent by god ( who is also him? don't get me started with this) to do his bidding he would be put on some serious anti-psychotics and made to wear pajamas all day and use finger painting to express is inner child.

This doesn't even make any sense to me right now and I'm writing this, but it a rant and you chose to read it and nobody was forcing you... I hope??

( Just as a side note to all you Christians out there, Jesus probably doesn't want to see another frecken crucifix for the rest of existence. He probably thinking, "why can't they remember when I made more booze after four days of partying?" Maybe, we should be wearing wine bottles around our neck rather than crosses)

I'm done with this rant, and I think I need a PRN...