2012 whoooo the end is coming

This is just a quick rant about these morons that think the world is going to come to an end in the year of your Lord, 2012.
First off why do "They" think the world will end that year?
Well as it has been told to me the most accurate calender ever made was from the Mayan civilization which happens to end conveniently on that year... or was it the year 2000? ( it didn't happen 2000 so in must be 2012)
Well after that reasoning I can really see why someone of the such great intellect would think so. I mean it was foretold by such a wise culture, although they had not yet invented the wheel or figured out how to forge iron or copper, they were fortune teller wise.
I'm not sure, I could be wrong about this but I think that the Mayan civilization has not been around for awhile? (I could probably look that up on Google or something, but who really has the time with the emanate worlds end)...
If they were so good a foretelling the future why didn't they see that the Spanish were going to come over and hand their asses to them on a plate for some gold. I mean that was pretty important don't you think, but what ever.
(Some fun trivia, the Mayans used to believe that having a deformed head was the greatest form of beauty. So much so that the royalty used to bind their children's heads to get that sexy bulging cone look..)
I've actually been told by university graduate the Mayans predicted 911. Ya, the world is full of geniuses. I think I won't get into 911 because it is such an emotional subject to our friend m. You know m's such a true patriot...
Anyways, I will bet anyone a cool million dollars out there. that is so sure the world going to end in 2012, that it doesn't happen. If it does happen to end they can hear me say "gosh darn it I was wrong I guess you win".
I am not writing this little rambling rant to my good friend m. I writing it to my better friend Jas Buddy... Hey Jas your a true loser... Eat a bag of shit ya wife beating paedophile.. And I'm still waiting for you to back up your threats....

I don't have a picture of Jas Buddy aka Hitler but this is a close resemblance ...

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m your right I admit that my last rant was lame, so I'm going to rant about what you know best movies and the directors you love

Let me reiterate my sinecures apologies to all you hard core rant lovers, the last rant sucked...m pointed that out to me and when your wrong you should admit it and I do.
So saying that I going to rant on a subject that m. believes he is an expert on, and how I truly hate the directors he thinks are gods... Sorry m and all the sheep out there.
I hate M. Night Shyamalan, and every movie he's ever made. I could could go on about how Signs could possible be the worst movie ever to make to the Silver Screen but if you google Signs you will find thousands of jack offs that agree and have written on the subject. I'm here to say that his best movie or best acclaimed "the Six Sense" blows goat. I'm sorry but if you found yourself surprised by the "shocking ending" you weren't paying attention to the beginning of the movie where Bruce Willis took two shots to the chest with a thirty eight. It was a lame movie m, I'm sorry but if you have been seeing dead people since you were born they wouldn't bother you that much...(ooww.don't get me with your lame ghost powers...oh wait that's jack shit.. fuck off you chain dangling apparition)...
I know what your going to say "m" Mel Gibson was is the movie "Signs" there fore it must be good. Well news flash asshole Mel Gibson was only ever good in two movies "Mad Max" & "Road Warrior" and that's it. I know what your going to say, "but what about Brave Heart!!" Bite me asshole that was one of the longest battle fatigue movies out...The Scots were creaming there jeans after that movie, it had as much truth to it as Pinnocio or Beauty and the Beast. Mel Gibson was born in America and raised in Australia. He sucks as a Director, just look at the "Man without a Face", Hamlet (He had to be be about forty when he did that movie and Hamlet was in his teens), "The Passion of Christ" (If he wanted to show how much he hated Jews this was the movie).. m..I've always thought of you as a true intellect but what the fuck?
Now on to the other movies and directors you hold as gods..."Peter Jackson" the director behind the longest movies ever made even longer than the boring books.." Get on the fucking boat you hairy footed homo the movie over.... I'm not against the "gay movement" but at least Brokeback Mountain was honest to the public... Frodo and Sam couldn't be any gayer if they filmed the movie in a bath house... Why did you like this farce of a film m???
Maybe Peter Jackson only screwed up with Tolkens books??? But what the fuck was King Kong?? Don't even get me started with what was wrong with this cinematic blockbuster... Jesus Scandinavian Jesuses...
Now your going to say to me you've made fun of those director but you can't make of James Cameron, he made Titanic, a movie that took longer than the sinking of the real Titanic..But he also made the "Abyss". "Spiderman" and "10 000 BC", Cinematic gold.. m..WTF?
I know what your going to say m...What about Roland Emmerich... He made Independence Day, Universal Soldier, Godzilla...Fuck Off..Really that`s the only card you`ll pull...
I know at this point your getting mad..m.. so your bring out the the big guns of directors... Robert Zemecks....well eat a bag of shit...All the movies he made are fucked... Your saying Forest Gump is a master piece, well so is my morning coil. And what else has he made...Contact....For god sake,, Jodie Foster what happened... and when you put Matthew Micwhaterverafuck as a the spiritual guide the whole movie your in deep trouble...w He was good in that fucking 70s movie and that that`s it.. Now were ranting!!! I honestly don`t want to talk about Cast Away, Polar Express and Beowulf.. so I`m do done m.... I know your going to be mad at your so called movie gods but that`s that buddy... You wanted a rant and you got it...

Lead me not into temptation.. I can find it by myself

If I haven't said it to you bloggers before I'll say it again, It's never a good idea to think the court ordered psychiatrist is your friend.

In saying that I'm finally back to rant another day.

Let me think what should ramble randomly about?

Crappy Food

It's not that I think people will eat anything especially if it's put on an all you can eat buffet for $6.99 but it's your god's honest truth. People in general know jack about what good food is and proof of that is in the bottomless amount of crappy fast food joints on this bloated continent called North America.


Part 1

The Cheese Burger

Let's have a quick look at your average "fast food" burger, starting with the bun that is made some how without any kind of substance. There are about four or five simple carbohydrate strands holding this thing together, you can take it in your hand and squish it into something so small that all you have left is a half dry glob of Elmer's Glue. There is no fibre, vitamins, or minerals or anything useful except starch (which is the same starch used in keeping your shirts nice and stiff unlike the baker's, that invented this shitty piece of bread, flaccid dick)

But who really cares about the crappy bun, what people really like is the cheese. Though I think something that is called cheese is supposed to be made of milk of some kind of animal be it cow, goat or even certain domesticated cats, not 90% eatable wax?? That's right eatable wax? And what constitutes eatable when it comes to wax? How many orphans did they kill before they found the right wax. "Hey! this one's colon didn't rupture with in the first two weeks. I think we found our wax. All we have to do is colour it with some oil based paint, you know the kind that doesn't make you blind, and some of that healthy cheese flavouring and we're good to go.." Yummy

But if the cheese isn't food and neither is the bun then why is most of America a bunch of land manatees?

Why we can't forget the burger, you know 100% really meat of some sort. It sumptuously fried in hobo lard for that smoky flavour."No trans fats remember." Well not at first, it's just a mixture of different Saturated fats cook to the point of smoking which as you know makes them into trans fats and tastes divine, especially if your hammered drunk at 4:00 in the morning. (Maybe it's not just the booze that makes you puke the next day)
Now, I haven't talked about the special sauce or the disgruntled worker who do much more than just spit in your food (you should feel lucky if they only spit on your food, it means they like you and are probably not going to go postal on that day) because there is just too much to say.

Any who, this topic is one I'm going to revisit a lot more because there is just so many fun things to talk about but don't have anymore beer. So here we are..

And to all you people who think I drink to much please refer to the cartoon...