Let me reiterate my sinecures apologies to all you hard core rant lovers, the last rant sucked...m pointed that out to me and when your wrong you should admit it and I do.
So saying that I going to rant on a subject that m. believes he is an expert on, and how I truly hate the directors he thinks are gods... Sorry m and all the sheep out there.
I hate M. Night Shyamalan, and every movie he's ever made. I could could go on about how Signs could possible be the worst movie ever to make to the Silver Screen but if you google Signs you will find thousands of jack offs that agree and have written on the subject. I'm here to say that his best movie or best acclaimed "the Six Sense" blows goat. I'm sorry but if you found yourself surprised by the "shocking ending" you weren't paying attention to the beginning of the movie where Bruce Willis took two shots to the chest with a thirty eight. It was a lame movie m, I'm sorry but if you have been seeing dead people since you were born they wouldn't bother you that much...(ooww.don't get me with your lame ghost powers...oh wait that's jack shit.. fuck off you chain dangling apparition)...
I know what your going to say "m" Mel Gibson was is the movie "Signs" there fore it must be good. Well news flash asshole Mel Gibson was only ever good in two movies "Mad Max" & "Road Warrior" and that's it. I know what your going to say, "but what about Brave Heart!!" Bite me asshole that was one of the longest battle fatigue movies out...The Scots were creaming there jeans after that movie, it had as much truth to it as Pinnocio or Beauty and the Beast. Mel Gibson was born in America and raised in Australia. He sucks as a Director, just look at the "Man without a Face", Hamlet (He had to be be about forty when he did that movie and Hamlet was in his teens), "The Passion of Christ" (If he wanted to show how much he hated Jews this was the movie).. m..I've always thought of you as a true intellect but what the fuck?
Now on to the other movies and directors you hold as gods..."Peter Jackson" the director behind the longest movies ever made even longer than the boring books.." Get on the fucking boat you hairy footed homo the movie over.... I'm not against the "gay movement" but at least Brokeback Mountain was honest to the public... Frodo and Sam couldn't be any gayer if they filmed the movie in a bath house... Why did you like this farce of a film m???
Maybe Peter Jackson only screwed up with Tolkens books??? But what the fuck was King Kong?? Don't even get me started with what was wrong with this cinematic blockbuster... Jesus Scandinavian Jesuses...
Now your going to say to me you've made fun of those director but you can't make of James Cameron, he made Titanic, a movie that took longer than the sinking of the real Titanic..But he also made the "Abyss". "Spiderman" and "10 000 BC", Cinematic gold.. m..WTF?
I know what your going to say m...What about Roland Emmerich... He made Independence Day, Universal Soldier, Godzilla...Fuck Off..Really that`s the only card you`ll pull...
I know at this point your getting mad..m.. so your bring out the the big guns of directors... Robert Zemecks....well eat a bag of shit...All the movies he made are fucked... Your saying Forest Gump is a master piece, well so is my morning coil. And what else has he made...Contact....For god sake,, Jodie Foster what happened... and when you put Matthew Micwhaterverafuck as a the spiritual guide the whole movie your in deep trouble...w He was good in that fucking 70s movie and that that`s it.. Now were ranting!!! I honestly don`t want to talk about Cast Away, Polar Express and Beowulf.. so I`m do done m.... I know your going to be mad at your so called movie gods but that`s that buddy... You wanted a rant and you got it...
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I have a very fond memory of driving up Island for Christmas one time with you. And you were asking me about one movie or another, then you brought up "Saving Private Ryan" and I said it was okay but I'd never want to watch it again. The next day I opened your present and what did I find but the Directors cut. I still cherish that VHS I've kept it in its original package. Collectors Item!
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say too your hammering of me about the above movies is that you cried in "A.I". And bought the poster and hung it on your wall "because to you he will always be a real boy."