Lead me not into temptation.. I can find it by myself

If I haven't said it to you bloggers before I'll say it again, It's never a good idea to think the court ordered psychiatrist is your friend.

In saying that I'm finally back to rant another day.

Let me think what should ramble randomly about?

Crappy Food

It's not that I think people will eat anything especially if it's put on an all you can eat buffet for $6.99 but it's your god's honest truth. People in general know jack about what good food is and proof of that is in the bottomless amount of crappy fast food joints on this bloated continent called North America.


Part 1

The Cheese Burger

Let's have a quick look at your average "fast food" burger, starting with the bun that is made some how without any kind of substance. There are about four or five simple carbohydrate strands holding this thing together, you can take it in your hand and squish it into something so small that all you have left is a half dry glob of Elmer's Glue. There is no fibre, vitamins, or minerals or anything useful except starch (which is the same starch used in keeping your shirts nice and stiff unlike the baker's, that invented this shitty piece of bread, flaccid dick)

But who really cares about the crappy bun, what people really like is the cheese. Though I think something that is called cheese is supposed to be made of milk of some kind of animal be it cow, goat or even certain domesticated cats, not 90% eatable wax?? That's right eatable wax? And what constitutes eatable when it comes to wax? How many orphans did they kill before they found the right wax. "Hey! this one's colon didn't rupture with in the first two weeks. I think we found our wax. All we have to do is colour it with some oil based paint, you know the kind that doesn't make you blind, and some of that healthy cheese flavouring and we're good to go.." Yummy

But if the cheese isn't food and neither is the bun then why is most of America a bunch of land manatees?

Why we can't forget the burger, you know 100% really meat of some sort. It sumptuously fried in hobo lard for that smoky flavour."No trans fats remember." Well not at first, it's just a mixture of different Saturated fats cook to the point of smoking which as you know makes them into trans fats and tastes divine, especially if your hammered drunk at 4:00 in the morning. (Maybe it's not just the booze that makes you puke the next day)
Now, I haven't talked about the special sauce or the disgruntled worker who do much more than just spit in your food (you should feel lucky if they only spit on your food, it means they like you and are probably not going to go postal on that day) because there is just too much to say.

Any who, this topic is one I'm going to revisit a lot more because there is just so many fun things to talk about but don't have anymore beer. So here we are..

And to all you people who think I drink to much please refer to the cartoon...