Stick your finger up this...

There are things in this world that have become norms that intrigue me... lots of things such as customs especially the Customs or boarder cops into our friendly neighbour USA. Gotta love these guys because of the power they weld. These guys have power, so much so I, who says what ever the fuck he wants to has to be careful of what I say because of there power. Thanks to 911 these "guys" and "Homeland Security" can do basically whatever the fuck they want. I could go into detail but everybody knows you just don't fuck with these guys.

So, I'm going to focus on just one of their powers... The power to put their hands in your ass..."Body Cavity Search"....
You know you have power when you can randomly search peoples asses.
But is that a power I would want to have?
Not really... You would have to pay me a lot more than these boarder cops are getting paid to put my hand up someone else's ass...A lot more, so they are probably attracting a certain small portion of the population that flunked out of ass doctor school. The study of asses at it's simplest.
This is so strange to me I'm just going to make a list of thoughts that come to mind about this whole body cavity ass search thing:

• Do they have to practice this?
• Is there a technique? and if so how long did it take to really prefect this?
• How long have they been doing this? I don't know? like 50 years...hopefully not before the invention of the rubber glove...If not, hopefully good deodorant soap was available...
• Did the Wright Brothers envision that one day large amounts of people would be able to fly long distances knowing there safety was reliant on the contents of everyones asses.
• They don't like to be called Ass Police if you were wondering...
• They must be looking for drugs because you would have to be on drugs to think that your ass was a good place to hide objects, comfortably, from border cops...
• But 911 wasn't about fear of illicit drugs, or even prescription drugs, into the USA...It was about weapons and bombs and nastiness(other than shit) coming into the country...
• I don't think the stereo typical Terrorist thinks to use his/hers(PC remember) ass as a location for a bomb(the middle-east is a pretty hot, sweaty, hairy, place to be as it is) .... Bombs have some what of size...You'd have to be pretty determined to put a grenade up your ass and pulling the pin would be the stuff of legion...
  
• What if they find stuff that's not illegal...like I don't know? an extra set of reading glasses...Will they put them back nicely with a nice courteous pat on the bum?
• If it was me I wouldn't use my ass at all. I'd use a seeing eye dog's bum as my back door boot. If it was drugs I nicely patted into Tuffy's bum the drug dogs would look like they were just getting a little friendly. If it was a revolutionary state of the art ass bomb the Ass Police wouldn't ever think to look up Tuffy's tush.(I have to be care what I say here if I don't want to be ass grabbed on the way to work tomorrow by Homeland Security)

• Have you ever tried to put something up your own ass beside a suppository let a lone up a seeing eye dog's ass...Let me tell you they don't like it as much as you would think....
  

I've got a lot more to say about this but I don't want to offend anyone. The ass can be a touchy subject. I tried to talk some of my neighbours into looking up their bums and they got all "anal" and prudish...like they were someone special. Well the joke on them cause I sent a letter to Homeland Security stating that they were a possible terrorist cell. Now it won't be a friendly neighbour looking up their asses but the "Ass Police"....